


Cigarettes

by unstablegoat49



Category: Avenged Sevenfold
Genre: Bad English, Cigarettes, Homophobia, M/M, conservatism, everybody has their own problems, no family, rich nerd, sulky punk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-06-27 10:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15684009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unstablegoat49/pseuds/unstablegoat49
Summary: The last semester of high school is extremely important for Brian Haner; it's the last moment to shine and get to the university of his dreams. But his only friend, James, doesn't think the same - he stops caring about school and spends time with punks. Among them is one boy with purple hair and lip piercing. And there is this smell of cigarettes all the time.Brian doesn't know yet what's the matter with Zack, but since their first meeting he clearly senses the tension between them. The tension he doesn't like at all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language and teaching it wasn't a priority for my school, so my apologies for any mistakes, if you'll find any serious ones, please let me know! :D

"James!"  
A tall, brown-haired guy stopped and looked around. When he noticed his friend waving to him, he started to go towards him, pushing through the crowd in the hallway. Students were moving in every direction, so reaching Brian took him some time.  
"What's up?" he asked, leaning on one of the lockers. "I'm going out in a sec."  
"I can see that" black-haired boy said with suspicion in his eyes "You're not coming for the English class?"  
"I could go, but..." Jimmy sighed, looking down. Brian's gonna complain again. "I'm quitting additional classes. They're taking too much time, and I actually have something to do in the afternoons."  
"What?" He crossed his arms on his chest. The faculties after classes were the perfect occasion to consolidate and expand knowledge; he and James have been attending them since their first year.  
"I met some new people" Sullivan answered quietly. "We have plans for today." He was able to predict his friend's reaction to who those new people were.  
Haner was the most organized and model student in this school. He has never been late or unprepared... and was panicking when he get a grade lower than 'A'. In home he was required to have the best results, so he spend all his time on learning, so parents would be proud. His father was a rich entrepreneur and stepmother, raising him from his early childhood, a detective in city's police department - respected people with high positions; they were counting on Brian succeeding in the future as well, and the boy himself was definitely aiming for it.  
It didn't even cross his mind to get to know someone like... punks.  
"Listen" James started "I know you're not gonna be happy, but I'm going to meet with Baker's group".  
"Excuse me?" Brian didn't hide his disappointment. "And since when you're friends with those dirty vandals? I though you were smarter" Irritation was clear in his voice; he couldn't comprehend how anybody would give up learning for anything, especially some anarchists. He knew very well how they're acting and what was their entertainment - mother was often talking about them, warning him about those people. Actually, she didn't even had to; it was enough for him to compare his grades with theirs. None of them was half as good as he was.  
"Chill out. And don't call them that. They're really okay. And..." He stopped, looked around if there was no one listening and then continued "It's about Lexa".  
"Again? Come on, you don't even know each other. And what does she really have to do with it?"  
"She is Meaghan's friend" He rolled his eyes, seeing questioning look on Haner's face. "Zack's girlfriend. And she's attending their meeting quite often. So if I'll be there, I'm gonna get to know her better and maybe it'll somehow work out". He tried to spread his optimism, but his friend only looked at him, unconvinced.  
James Sullivan first met Lexa Wright on piano classes. The girl used to have her lessons before him, so they were always passing by in the door. For unknown for Brian reasons his friend was really into her, but was too shy to just go and talk to her. There was only a 'hi' at school, but he has never talked to her longer.  
"It's a great plan, this way we'll have to spend more time together, I'm telling you, it's gonna work!"  
"I don't see that" stated Brian, looking at his golden watch which he got from his parents for his last birthday. There were only three minutes before the bell. "And how do you even know she's friends with them? And why not earlier? You liked her from the start of the year, and we're finishing first semester."  
"Yeah, cause it's that easy to find some connections with her" Jimmy murmured sarcastically "I'm not sure if I'll know if it wasn't for Matt Sanders. You know him?"  
"The new guy? The bald gorilla, right?"  
"Mhm" Jimmy smiled. The fact that someone is working out doesn't necessarily makes him a gorilla, but what did he know. If somebody preferred sport from science, for Brian was automatically lost. "He got kicked out from his last school, so his family moved here and, guess what, they're leaving across the street from my house. I talked to him for a while, I found out he had become buddies with Baker. One time, when we're coming back from school we met Lexa. They were talking for a minute, and after I asked him about her. That's how I know everything.".  
"So know you want to deal with those..." Brian cleared his throat, letting Sullivan know what he thinks about his knew friends "...punks?" For some girl?"  
"Hey, not 'some' girl. And I don't see anything wrong with that. I really like them".  
"That's your choice" he snorted, looking at his watch again. "Gotta go or 'm gonna be late".  
"Sure, you, late" Jimmy said ironically, adjusting his backpack.  
"And what about tomorrow?" Brian ignored his words "You won't come for physics, either?"  
"Don't know" he answered, nodding towards Matt, who's waiting for him by the door, letting him know he's gonna join him in a second. Then his eyes again met Haner's. "You could sometimes chill out, too. Meet some new people."  
Brian didn't have many friends. Actually, the only person at school who was talking to him was James. They knew each other from the childhood, their mothers were best friends. But in reality they didn't spend much time together, after school they didn't even see each other - Haner was busy learning and Sullivan didn't want to meet just to sit with some books. His parents were demanding as well, but not as much that he would have to spend his evenings on repeating Spanish words or creating some boring chemical reactions.  
"Sure, new people" Brian growled "Maybe those stupid punks? Perfect company, the one I definitely need".


	2. Chapter 2

He get hesitantly to the group of teens sitting on the stairs near the gym; he clenched his fists on backpack's straps, stopping few steps from the punks.  
They didn't really notice him at first, they were to busy talking about some topic he wasn't sure he wanted to know anything about. But he stood there patiently, waiting for James to see him. Sullivan however was to engaged in staring at a girl with light brown hair, who was laughing at something with a blonde sitting on one of the punk's lap. Said punk was the first to notice Brian. He looked at him suspiciously, pulling a cigarette out from his lips; Haner peeked at James; a boy with purple hair did the same.  
"Rev?" James stopped staring at Lexa. The others subsided and suddenly all eyes were on Brian, who, nervous, clenched his fists even tighter.  
"Can we talk?" Haner spoke finally, biting on his lip.  
Jimmy looked apologetically at his friends and stood up. It was clear that this talk wasn't his biggest dream, especially now, when Lexa started a new topic with punks.  
"'Rev'?" black haired boy asked "Since when you like some idiotic nicknames? And what does it even mean?"  
"Christ, do you even care?" Sullivan muttered, feeling his irritation rising. He wanted to go back to people with whom he felt really good, he was being himself. He couldn't keep acting as if he was a nerd or something. In fact he was really sociable, open and friendly person, but he never had an opportunity to present himself as such to anyone. He didn't mind Brian, but the guy could be sometimes so tiring, that you wanted to run away as far from him as possible. "Better tell me what's it you wanted to talk to me about."  
"About English" Haner said quietly. Jimmy laughed; he could have ignored him, could have guess he didn't have anything interesting to say. "Yesterday Ms Thompson was talking about a new contest, I though you may want to participate."  
"You're so boring" he sighed in response, hiding his hands in pockets. "Told you I'm done with constant learning, I don't want to waste my youth on books."  
"I don't recognize you" Brian said.  
"Maybe you've never knew me".  
They were staring at each other in silence. None was planning to comment it in any way, so they were just standing there, trying to read each other's mind.  
"I thought we were friends" Haner decides to go back to the class, he was just turning to do so, when he heard purple-headed punk's voice:  
"Rev, why don't you introduce us to your friend?"

Brian looked at punk, who was just blowing out the smoke. He decided not to inform him that you're not allowed to smoke at school, not to mention that he was probably too young for that. The boy was wearing a faded t-shirt with some band's logo, dark pants and leather jacket; he had piercing in his nose and lip, and his eyelids were coloured red. A girl sitting on his lap looked completely different. She had simple, white shirt and blue jeans, her blonde hair formed a ponytail; on her face was no make up, not even the natural one.  
Jimmy wasn't happy about the proposal of punk, who kept drilling Brian with his eyes. After a moment however he sighed and looked at his friend, waiting for his reaction.  
"I think I'll pass" he decided, barely hiding scorn. Sullivan wasn't surprised; he had guessed that boy will be acting this way with them and won't even try to change his attitude. His family's beliefs were too deep inside of him. Manners towards the others and impeccable habits were losing their meaning when he was dealing with people about whom his father was saying all the worst.  
Brian Haner Sr was a respectable person, known in whole Huntington Beach. He have always manifested his conservative views and instilled them in his children as well.  
"Hold on" James grabbed his friend by arm, quieting his voice "I hope you remember I have my birthday on Saturday. I wanted to throw a party, you know, invite some people" he breathed out, scratching his head "It would be nice of you to show up. But they're gonna be there, too" he looked at the group by the stairs "Don't you think it's a good idea to meet some guests before the party? I don't think you know the rest of my friends, and with them you at least go to the same school".  
"So?" Brian growled. He was genuinely surprised by his words, especially about the ones about 'the rest of his friends'. As long as he remembered he and James stuck together, just the two of them. "Even if we'll politely introduce ourselves now, I'm not going to talk to them. Because what would we talk about? Drugs? Destroying everything that's on your way?"  
"You really think those are the only things they're talking about?"  
"Well, you're not gonna tell me we can discuss theory of relativity or World War II."  
"You'd be surprised" Jimmy said, ignoring his friend's reluctance, and pushed him towards his mates. "Meet Brian". Silence. Haner stood there, looking away and they obviously didn't intend to greet him somehow; he didn't want to speak up first, too.  
"Matt Sanders" muscular boy said finally, standing up and extending his hand. Ignoring him would be too serious display of disrespect, so Brian uncertainly shook his hand.  
After him the others started to introduce themselves. He didn't really pay attention to them, the only thing he notices was there were only three girls among them, from who only one - Valary - looked like a punk. Brian glanced through all the people he just met, until he stopped on green eyes. Purple haired didn't introduce himself yet.  
Meaghan, a blonde sitting on his lap, whispered something to his ear. He looked at her, clenching his jaw; then he looked at Haner again, staring at him for a moment  
"I'm Zack".  
He didn't extend his hand; he was embracing Meaghan with one, in the other he held cigarette end. Brian didn't do that either - he guessed he would be ignored anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

"You're here! Come in." Jimmy let him through, smiling widely. Brian, with hardly pent up irritation, noticed that his friend had already drunk enough to have problems with walking straight. He guessed that because of his new buddies James will start act differently, but that wasn't what he had expected. Haner wouldn't come here if they weren't friends. But were they, really?

He went to the kitchen, which this evening turned into liquor cabinet; almost everybody was holding a glass with some alcohol inside. What was he supposed to do here, with those people? He didn't know anybody except for... Green eyes. They looked at each other for only a second, but Brian still felt a shiver down his spine. His throat dried out instantly.

Hesitantly he approached the table, at which Zack was pouring alcohol.

"You drink?" he asked, holding up a bottle of whiskey.

"I'm not 21 yet" he answered quietly.

"Me neither." The boy took a glass and drank it with one swig. "You're gonna tell your mother about it?"

Brian didn't respond. He clenched his fists and looked away, trying to regain his composure. It's obvious Jimmy told everyone about Haner family. People like punks for sure weren't friendly towards kids, who's parents could put them in jail for anything they'd done.

"Is there anything non-alcoholic?" he asked, slowly calming down. Zack smirked, and put a bottle of water in front of him.

"Only this. There was some Sprite but I'm not sure if there's anything left."

"Thanks, that'll do."

Zack was staring at brunette's back, when he felt someone hugging him from behind. He turned his head, meeting Meaghan's joyful face. The blonde kissed him on the nose and smiled even wider. When he furrowed his eyebrows, the girl released her hold and leaned against the table.

"What?"

"You like him" she said excited. The boy rolled his eyes.  _Not this again_ , he thought. She ascertained this during their first meeting with the brunette. 'He has nice cheekbones and brown eyes. Exactly what you like', she had said then, whispering into his ear. Back then he had been angry, now he felt only embarrassment. "Stop pretending" she continued. "He seems like a nice guy. And is pretty cute.

"Oh, come on" he snorted. Meaghan loved searching for candidates for his boyfriend. In those moments he regretted revealing to her his biggest secret; she was the only one who knew he was gay. Even though few years had passed, he still felt uncomfortable with it; he was afraid of other people's reaction. He had known her for such a long time, they were like brother and sister, inseparable. Only with her he was able to open up, talk about his problems whenever he needed to. Meaghan was always there for him, she listened to him, advised him, but sometimes she was tiring. Once, while drunk, he told her about his ideal boyfriend - since that moment, when someone matching his description arrived, she tried to get them together. "Besides, no chance in hell. Imagine what someone from the family like his could tell a punk, who additionally was a faggot."

"She's not my mother!" They turned their heads at the same time, hearing furious, raised voice, coming from the living room. All conversations stopped, somebody even lowered music. All eyes were on two boys standing inside the circle made by the party guests who were still able to stand.

Brian was quaking in anger. He was breathing heavily, looking at the blonde before him, Jimmy's basketball colleague. The blonde smiled mockingly. He was opening his mouth, probably to provoke Haner, but James appeared between them, trying to get control over the situation. 

"Go" Meaghan whispered to Zack, pointing at Brian, who was heading to the balcony. When she'd seen his eyes closing with surrender, she was sure about the win. She had known him long enough to know, that he's gonna try to befriend handsome guys, even if he didn't know how to talk with them. He could be completely uninterested with longer acquaintance, but it was enough he liked them.

"Give me the cigs."

"You were supposed to drop it." She looked at him with reproach. "You yourself told me to keep them away from you."

"But they are  _mine_ and I need them. I'm not gonna talk to him without them."

The blonde rolled her eyes, reaching inside her purse. She gave him the pack, but before he left, she managed to tell him:

"Don't piss him off more."

He pushed past the crowd of people, who seemed to already forget about the whole fight.

Brian was standing on the balcony alone; he was holding on to the barrier and looking at the starlit sky. Punk approached him slowly, pulling out a cigarette and the lighter. Haner looked at him briefly, grimacing, when Zack blew out the smoke. 

"Want one?" He offered the pack to the brunette; he didn't get the answer, so he just shrugged, hiding cigarettes in the pocket of his leather jacket. 

"You alright? What was it all about?" he asked, turning his head to blow the smoke away from Brian.  _Shit, why did he even care?_   _Oh, right, cheekbones and brown eyes._ The boy remained silent. "So you're not gonna talk?"

"Talk about what exactly? With you? I assume you don't have any normal hobbies, you only care about drugs, alcohol and sex, right?"

_The last one? With you? You don't even know._

It was like that few times already. Handsome, brown-eyed boy. Alcohol, a night spent together. And in the morning everything was back to normal, they acted like nothing happened. It would be so easy. After all, the punk could do whatever he wanted, take whatever he wanted. But freaking Brian Haner didn't wanted even a glass of something stronger. So today Zack will settle for a talk. He doesn't have a choice. 

"What does it mean, 'normal hobbies'? School?"

"Well, it's something people our age should be interested in, don't you think? Education is the basis."

"Maybe" Zack said, shrugging "I like history."

Brian snorted, intending to get back inside.

"You think I'm some stupid anarchist, don't you?" Punk stopped him by grabbing his shoulder. "History is something that I really enjoy. And I know  _a lot_ about it. I know characteristics and origins of every political system. What's more, I'm aware that there's not a single one that worked with hundred-percent effectiveness, even democracy. I think politicians really have fun when they hear about 'government by the people'" he smirked. "Until someone's gonna do something about it, I'll stick with what I want."

"Why you're telling me that?"

"Because I don't want to be treated as worse. By anyone."  _Especially you_. "You're gonna tell me what happened?"

"Nothing" he sighed. "It works like this when the wife of your father, who has the nerve to call you 'son', is working as the police officer." 


	4. Chapter 4

Brian was walking with his head low. Last things he’d dreamt of were angry looks from other students, who’ve never been friendly towards him and now were thinking only about how much they hated him.

From gym’s stairs Jimmy could easily see his friend, quickly heading to Maths’ class. People he passed by loudly expressed their displeasure about what had happened at the end of James’ party. 

It was still before midnight, when Brian left. One of the party guests had spilled a beer on his new shirt, so outraged brunette immediately got back home. His father wasn’t sleeping. Right when he felt the smell of alcohol, he called his wife, who’d been on a duty that night. A few moments later the police knocked to Sullivan’s door; Jimmy’s parents weren’t the poorest people, so they quickly patched everything up, but each guest had to work community service anyway. Furious people were looking for someone guilty; Brian was an obvious choice. 

“I’m afraid they’re gonna hurt him”, James said, breaking his friends’ conversation. 

“Really? You still care about him?”, Zack grunted.

“Yeah”, Johnny added. “He ruined your party.”

It wasn’t a surprise the youngest of punks agreed with Baker. Since he joined their group, Jonathan Seward has been doing everything to make purple-head like him. 

“Chill out, it could’ve been worse. Anyway, we used to be friends. What’s more, I don’t think it was Brian’s doing; it’s not his fault. He’s not a rat.”

“Jimmy’s right. Those people hate him right now, I’m worried about him, too.” Meaghan said, looking tellingly at Zack. Only he was able to read the anger in her eyes. 

“Brian’s probably staying on the biology lesson, he’ll be coming home in the evening” Sullivan said. “It can be dangerous.”

***

He was thinking only about being at home. Come back, lock in the bedroom, pull up the long sleeve of blue shirt and again leave a scratch on his skin, made with razor blade. It was the only way to punish himself for his hopelessness. Nobody knew. Nobody even suspected; he have never exposed his forearms. Anyway who would even care, father focused on his own success, step-mother pretending that he’s her son or people from the school, among who he was known as boring nerd and – lately – a rat. Nobody cared about what’s going on with him or if he’s alright. If they only knew the ugly truth he couldn’t reveal even before himself. 

“Haner!” He heard unknown voice. A moment later somebody grabbed his arm and painfully tugged, turning towards themselves.

Four boys, all taller than him. They were wearing balaclavas, so he couldn’t recognize them, though even if he’d seen their faces, he probably still wouldn’t know them; he didn’t know many people from the school.   
They encircled him in a narrow alley between some abandoned buildings. If he screamed, nobody would hear him. 

“You think we’ll just leave it, you piece of shit?!” One of them snapped, hitting his clenched fist on his hand. “Interesting what your cops will do now?” He got closer, forcing him to lean on the half-ruined brick wall.

“It’s not my fault” He said with tight throat, “I was trying to stop them, but…”

“...but you didn’t.” Added for him… James Sullivan.

Aggressors turned to see Jimmy, Matt and Dan – on of punks’ friends. All three were bigger than the attackers. Brian, seeing that, felt even more scared. After all, they must’ve been unhappy about the whole yesterday situation as well.

“Leave him alone” Matt said, with voice not letting for objection. Boys in balaclavas looked at each other and in a moment started to run away in opposite direction. This time the punk said to still trembling from fear Haner: “Is everything alright?”

Brian was speechless. He couldn’t believe somebody stood in his defense; what’s more they were people he had thought would be first to attack him. 

“Come on” Jimmy murmured, heading towards the school again. 

They were walking in silence, till they reached high school’s parking. Meaghan was standing there, by black car of unknown for Brian brand; he was already able to memorize Zack’s girlfriend’s name. When the blonde noticed them, she approached them and smiled to Haner. 

“I’ll drive you home” she offered. 

“There’s no need.” He grunted, looking at his feet. He’d hated this feeling when he knew he owed something to someone he wasn’t necessarily happy to repay. He didn’t like punks, and already felt like their debtor. He didn’t want to make things worse.

“There is.” Sullivan said, crossing his arms on his chest. “Unless you want somebody to punch your pretty face.”

Matt rolled his eyes and pulled James after himself, turning just to smile comfortingly to Haner and say, way calmer than Jimmy:

“There is. Go.”

Dan walked away with punks, so Brian didn’t have much of a choice than get inside Meaghan’s car. The girl apparently had known the address from Sullivan, ‘cause she headed right in Haner’s house direction. They were riding in silence, which didn’t feel uncomfortable, but the boy still felt as if he has to say something.

“I shouldn’t cause you those problems, it’s not your issue.”

“Clearly Rev thinks something different.” She said.

“But we’re not… friends… anymore. He said it himself, so why would he want to help me?”

“Maybe he’s sentimental?” She laughed. 

She was so cheerful, smiling to everybody and most likely happy. He didn’t understand her relationship with Zack at all. Punk seemed sulky, rather tight-lipped, mysterious. For sure not someone full of energy, unlike the girl. Maybe it’s true that opposites attract?

“Here, right?” Meaghan broke his trail of thoughts, slowing down by the corner.

“Yes. First house on the right.”

The girl stopped on the driveway, staring at the building with admiration. Instantly she could tell someone important lives here. Important and filthy rich.

Brian got out, ready to close the door and just walk away, but he knew he has to overcome himself and show some gratitude to the people who had helped him.

“Thank you.”


	5. Chapter 5

“It’s not okay” Meaghan stated.

 

Zack looked in her direction, but shrugged and decided to get outside on school’s field; the blonde followed him. They had a longer break due to unexpected teachers’ meeting; she couldn’t think about better occasion for talking to the boy.

They approached ‘their place’, a hill by the fence where they used to sit, just them, away from everybody who would want to hear what they were talking about. They shared so many secrets.

 

Zack placed his jeans’ jacket on the grass so they could sit.

 

“What?” he asked without a glimpse of interest in this talk.

 

“Actually not much, you just acted like a complete douche” she said irritated. “I’m just sad you ignored the situation, as if you didn’t care about him.”

 

“Why would I care? I told you, I don’t give a fuck.”

 

“Sure” she laughed ironically. “But you could at least defend him, don’t you think? He’s not hundred percent neutral for you, is he?

 

“And you think I would like to get into the brawl?” he snapped “After what happened?”

 

“There was no brawl, Zacky.”

 

“But could be, alright?!”

 

The girl placed her delicate hands on his fists, on which the scars were clearly visible. The reminder of earlier life. She squeezed them soothingly, laying her head on punk’s arm. They went through so much together. Since their first meeting she had known it’s not gonna be a normal, short acquaintanceship. They had helped each other to fight their own demons; Zack became the closest person ever to her. She loved him, and he loved her. They were like brother and sister, but their connection was thicker than blood.

 

She understood perfectly why he was afraid to protect Brian. She had known it better than anybody.

 

“You like him, don’t you?” she asked quietly, stroking the skin on his wrists.

 

“Maybe. But I feel like I’m more interested in him as a person. Like, this constant learning, it’s sick, right? But, you know, I just… It was nice talking to him. Even if it was only once, and he didn’t really seem interested in what I was saying. He’s… intriguing. It’s probably the best word.” He sighed. “It’s all so weird.”

 

“It is” she smiled, seeing how easily she tamed boy’s anger. “I saw your relief when Matt had said it’s done.”

 

“God” he rolled his eyes. “Alright, Haner is handsome and I wouldn’t necessarily want him to be hurt. That’s what you were waiting for?”

 

“Definitely” she stuck her tongue out.

 

“And what about you? You’ll keep panicking whenever you meet someone new and convincing them we’re dating?”

 

“I thought you don’t have a problem with being my boyfriend” she said, kicking him playfully in his leg. “And I’m not panicking, I’m being careful, okay?”

 

“Sure, sure”. The girl acted as if offended and wanted to get up, but Zack caught her in time and pulled into himself, so she landed on his lap.

 

“What do you want?” she growled.

 

“Honestly? Cigs. Fuck quitting, I can’t.”

 

“Okay, but we need to go back to the building, Lexa has my bag.”

 

 

***

 

 

“Everybody listen!” shouted Jimmy, jumping on the bench.

 

People spending their free time outside gathered closer, and the ones in the building, seeing through the windows that something interesting was happening – got outside. Sullivan smiled, seeing Lexa approaching the group. She was just talking about something with Meaghan. He cleared his throat and announced:

 

“Together we decided” in this moment he pointed at the punks, standing by the bench. “That our monthly party by the lake this time’ll be open for all of you. So this weekend, we invite everybody who wants to have real fun, experiment a little and experience the best campfire in this town. There’s a lot of you and maybe you’re not entirely convinced about the whole idea, but trust me, there’s gonna be some place for everyone.

 

The people were looking at each other, some seemed really interested, the others were more skeptical. Quiet conversations started, slowly getting louder; the noise was stopped by a slim blonde standing near Jimmy.

 

“And by ‘everyone’ you mean ‘everyone but Haner’, right?” he asked, looking at brunette with disdain.

 

Brian looked at his feet, feeling all eyes on him. He was unwanted here, actually nobody wanted him anywhere. No one really cared. It was obvious even party for everyone wasn’t for him.

 

“He said ‘for everybody’, no exception.” Matt stood on the bench, looking angrily at the boy who had spoken.

 

Haner blushed, hearing punk defending him. Again. And he still wasn’t able to repay. Maybe if he won’t go…? They wouldn’t have to deal with people dissatisfied with his presence; they’re probably inviting him out of politeness anyway. On the other side, punks doing something ‘out of politeness’? And what if they were honest and didn’t mind him being there? He loved campfires. He still liked Jimmy. And got to like Matt. But exposing yourself to angry looks from the whole school? One of the worst ideas he have ever had. And father wouldn’t let him go anyway. It’s gonna be the best for everyone if he’ll just stay at home, with books. And maybe a razor blade. Punishing himself for being a hopeless person, for the fact that people will be happy without him there. At least nobody will spoil the fun.

 

“I don’t think I’m going” he said, deciding on immediately getting inside the building and waiting for break’s end in the classroom. Nobody will be there, so they’ll leave him alone.

 

“If you change your mind, remember you’ll be welcome” he heard Matt’s voice.

 

Brian, walking away, unwittingly smiled. Maybe coming was worth it? Just for a moment.

 

_Matt Sanders._

 

He had to rethink this. And talk to his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> // this fic WILL be continued, but I don't know when I'll be able to come back to this //


End file.
